Ketchup: How I Love Thee

If you know me longer then, let's say, five minutes, you'll know that I love ketchup. Perhaps it's because I am from Pennsylvania, home of Heinz Ketchup, but I love ketchup. Especially Heinz ketchup. Or maybe it's because my palette is not sophisticated enough to appreciate more worldly spices and sauces. I don't know, but I love ketchup.

With this in mind, you'll soon find out that I have lamented, complained, expostulated and objected to the ketchup packets at work. Wait... I think that calling them "ketchup packets" was a bit of a stretch, really. It was more like these manufacturers said to themselves, "Yes, let's put vinegar and red dye #3 together in a big pot, then we'll put them in individual packets and pass them off as ketchup!" as if that was a great idea. If I ate something at work that required ketchup. . . well, I tried not to do that.

Also, ketchup packets, in general, are quite messy. Opening them, for me, is usually quite a challenge. I hope and pray that I don't get ketchup all over me when I do open them. Ketchup packets, even if they're Heinz, aren't versatile. At least until NOW.

May I introduce to you (again?) the dip and squeeze ketchup packet. FROM HEINZ:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are so many uses (well, only TWO, really) for this ketchup. First, you can open it at the 'dip' part, and use them for dipping things like fries, nuggets, and other foodstuffs you would dip into ketchup.

Yum. I can totally dip these waffle fries in my dipping ketchup.

Orrr... you can use it to squeeze ketchup unto foodstuffs.

 Oooh, my hamburger will be doubleplusawesome now because I can squeeze a healthy portion of ketchup on it. HOOORRAYY!

Oh, did I mention there is more ketchup in this packet than there is in an average ketchup packet.

Well, these packets AREN'T in my workplace, but I had a friend who managed to scarf a few from Chick-Fil-A last week. Now, I have PLENTY OF ketchup at my workplace. I'll actually be able to eat things with ketchup on them... if I wish to do so. It's nice to have that option. Until the ketchup runs out. What will I do then?

Also, I hear that not EVERYONE appreciates versatility. Something about TOO many choices. I say that's WRONG.

I would make a video, kind of like this one, about my love for ketchup, but I'd just be a copycat now. That's so unfair.

Siiiiigh. Ketchup never disappoints me.