Confessions of a Picky Eater

In light of my previous blog, which was serious, I need to balance it with humor.

I'm a picky eater. So much so, that if I ever travelled in foreign countries, I'd probably insult the natives because I would be afraid of their food. I don't mind if food touches, but there are a few criteria that need to be met in order for me to eat food.

Aside from normal preparation time, there shouldn't be much effort once the food is on my plate and ready for eating. For example, I LOVE crab meat. It's quite tasty, and I enjoy it immensely; however, I will never order crab legs. I don't think you need to work for your dinner when it's on your plate and ready to eat. You've earned your dinner by buying it and preparing it, you don't need to do more when you eat it. The same goes for lobster. I love the meat, but I'm not taking a lobster apart just to eat it.

I dislike chocolate ice cream. As a kid, this is all I would eat. Then one evening, I had pizza for supper and chocolate ice cream for dessert. Later that night, I woke up and threw up the entire contents of my supper and dessert all over my bed. Needless to say, I tried chocolate ice cream again and the flavor was never the same. It tasted weird to me. Still does to this day. Strange, considering I wouldn't eat ANY other flavor of ice cream before this incident.

I dislike Skittles, Nerds, Smarties, SweetTarts, and any other candy that falls under this category. I've never liked these type of candies. Halloween was always a strange time of year. The more chocolate candy, the better. Give me a Kit Kat anyday.

I don't like butter on my bread. If it's good bread, it doesn't need butter because good bread is already moist and ready to be eaten.

I hate gravy on my mashed potatoes. If you've put enough butter, salt and pepper on mashed potatoes, you don't need gravy. The only time I'll eat gravy on mashed potatoes is if the mashed potatoes are instant. Instant is fail when it comes to mashed potatoes. Even I, the one who doesn't cook much, will take the time to mash those potatoes when I want them at home.

I dislike gravy over waffles. Waffles are a breakfast food. The grid like pouches are made for syrup, not chicken and gravy, and I find it weird that people eat this stuff for dinner. My family thinks I'm weird because everyone loves this stuff in my family. There have been Sunday dinners at my Aunt Fanny's house where I won't eat the waffles because they aren't meant to have gravy on them. At least in my opinion.

If a food reminds me of something else, I won't eat it. For example, there's a guy at work that brings a salad everyday from the local grocery store. One item that is always in this salad is something where there's rice and something else wrapped in a grape leaf thing, and it's then doused with oil or something. To me, it looks like, well... I'll be frank here, it looks like a green terd. I've heard these things are actually quite good, but I can't bring myself to eat an item that looks like a terd.

See why foreigners would be insulted... and this is probably why I haven't had any opportunities to travel to foreign countries. I'm just not ready, when it comes to food, to have the "When in Rome" philosophy.