Yesterday was my last day at the job that I've held for 10 years. While I'm excited to embark on my new journey, this past week has been filled with a whirlwind of emotions. It started by learning the news of the passing of an executive at the company. He was well known by many and liked by all that knew him. I didn't know him personally, but his death prompted me to think about some things.
Of course, I thought about how fragile life truly is, and how you never know what's going to happen. It's hard to make sense of a tragedy, and I'm not even going to try, but it does make you think about what's most important in your own life. After all, it's quite common after the sudden loss of like to think about your own mortality. We realize that our lives here are brief, and a sudden end could be your end. It often forces people to dig out their bucket lists, take advantage of all life has to offer, and it makes all of us dream of making an impact while we're here. I do, however, wonder how many people make lasting changes in their lives as a result. Sometimes, I wonder if these are fleeting thoughts that rush back when a traumatic event occurs? I think it's a bit of both things.
Are our lives like an ellipsis? This form of punctuation is often used in the wrong way, but when it comes to a death as a result of a tragic accident, that's often how their lives end. I honestly don't even know if I'm making a proper metaphor*, but I think I am. In this case, the ellipsis is in the form of things left unfinished in that person's life. Whether that would be work, housework, stories left unfinished, events left unplanned, things left unsaid, it meant they were going to complete them, but it never happened. You'll never know what could have been done because that person is now gone. We want to fill the thought or action after those three little dots, but no matter what happens, we don't always get to know what the thoughts and actions actually were. That's how life works. That's what makes death so difficult for the living.
It also made me think even more about the time I spent there, as if I wasn't doing that already. I thought about all of the people who had come and gone in my time there. There were some that made an impact on my life, while others were merely distant blurs in my mind. While I know there will be some that will remember me, I also know that to others, I'll be nothing but a distant memory that is long forgotten without some sort of prompt. I'm okay with that. I'm grateful for the time I spent there, no matter how much I may have complained. Ten years spent anywhere is a significant time in anyone's life, and I met some awesome, interesting, strange, geeky, fun people while I was there. I'm going to miss them. All of them, and I mean this sincerely, have helped me to grow as a person, both personally and professionally. I thank all of you for that. Godspeed, and be well!
Now, I embark on a journey where I'm going to fill in the three more little dots of an ellipsis on my life, taking the knowledge with me that I won't be able to fill in all of the omitted thoughts and actions. Nobody will!
*Upon further reflection, I realized I AM using it right, and it's a big theme in the book The Fault in our Stars. I'm not being paid to plug a book, but I think you all should read it. I still like my title, though, so I'm keeping it.
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